Penn & Teller Little Houdini and the Hair Dryer Source

Little Houdini and the Hair Dryer

A story about Penn Jillette,
told by Penn Jillette,
and recounted (without permission) by SteakMan.

DISCLAIMER: This story was told over the air in Chicago on a radio station called The Loop. I didn't record it so this is recounted from my biological memory banks, which are prone to error.

Penn was doing a show in the town of one of his ex-girlfriends. He went to visit her and she invited him to stay in the guest room rather than stay in a hotel. She shared the house with a girlfriend who absolutely hated Penn, as girlfriends of ex-girlfriends are prone to do. The story really got interesting when Penn woke up before everybody else and decided to take a shower. The shower was un-eventful, Penn got himself all squeaky clean like he intended to do. When he finished the shower he stepped out only to find that he had forgotten to make sure that there were any towels. There were no towels to be found and walking around the house naked would not be a good way to start out new relations with his ex-girlfriend. Penn found the hair dryer and a thought formed in his head that he hadn't ever considered. He dried his hair and continued with the rest of his body. Penn was thrilled with his ingenious solution to his predicament. His legs, arms, and torso were getting drier than ever before. Not only that, but this hair dryer had a two inch extension that protected his body parts from the hot metal parts within. Then he had a dangerous thought; Little Houdini has never been truly dry. Little Houdini spends all day smooshed against his buddy, the scrotum, and consequently, is always hot and sweaty. Little Houdini has been dry, but his underside has never been completely dry. Soooo, Penn took a hold of Little Houdini by his head, stretched him out and applied the heat to his underside. Penn was tickled to death with his own ingenuity and Little Houdini had never felt better.

Just as he was trying to figure out how to pat himself on the back or patent his new idea, Penn was startled by a noise. Penn's ex-girlfriend's girlfriend's head had banged against the wall in her sleep. Thinking that it was one of the girls trying to come in he panicked, he didn't want to get caught in this embarrassing position. The noise startled him so that he lost his grip on Little Houdini. Little Houdini fell though the extension and his head laid to rest on the hot metal grating. The grating wasn't HOT, it was WHITE HOT. There was the sound of sizzling meat and scent of burning flesh. Penn was able to pry Little Houdini out of the hair dryer but poor little Little Houdini had a lattice work of white blisters on his head. Penn took care of him as best he could and carefully got dressed.

Later that night, things went very well with Penn's ex-girlfriend and it looked like they might get back together. In fact things started to get rather heavy that night and her hands started to roam close to Little Houdini. Obviously, Little Houdini was in no mood to come out and play so Penn was forced to tell her the whole story about no towels, the hair dryer, and the lattice work. She just about cried. She said ``That's just it, that's the problem with you. Things like this just don't happen to normal people!''

I hope you allenjoyed the story (comments are welcomed at the address below)... I sure enjoyed hearing it... And Penn, I hope you don't mind me sharing it.